Diary entries inspired by Diary of a Killer Cat by Anne Fine
By students of Moorpark Junior School, Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent
(with thanks to Ms Lovatt for sending them in)

Wednesday...
Okay okay I may have eaten the goldfish okay, okay, six fish! Another six fishy funerals to go to. I am hungry! "NO YOU'RE NOT," shouted the angry owner. Ellie's mum was still angry about those £1.50 petunias. SO WHAT!
Laura

Okay, okay, maybe I shouldn't have eaten the next door neighbour's budgie and rat. The rat was running after the budgie anyway, I had to stop the arguing. The taste of two was better than one though. It's a two course meal because they are having a funeral. I wish that baby would stop crying too. I was trying to get some sleep. I mean, come on!
Molly

Okay okay, So I may have killed the bird,
WHO CARES!
Why do you they call me Tuffy?
T is for terrible
U is for unique
F is for fantastic
F is for forgetful
Y is for yummy
Okay, Okay, my mummy and daddy have had a baby girl.
She is disgusting.
The only thing she says is mama and dada.
And she pulled my fur I mean it's quality silk!
Its designer!
Rhiannon Boon

Okay, okay, I ate a bird but I don't care at least it was scrumptious. I went to a funeral, I started laughing. It's practically my job eating teeny weenie bird because a cat's got to do what a cat's got to do yeah! Okay okay, Ellie cried and sobbed all over my fur, so shoot me. Ellie got angry at me she chucked me out the window out in the freezing rain. When I got back in I chewed everything but I don't care. Ellis mother took a photo of me and I bit her toe, I scratched her, I even felt I wanted to kill her but nah!
Jagjit

Okay, okay I did the kill bird but what else would I do? I'm a cat for Pete's sake. I can only eat and kill! I can't just do nothing, especially now we've got a baby, I can't stay in the house. So I did kill the flutter ball. Well a cat's got to do what a cat's got to do. I practically started to dig for the flutter ball.
Bradley

Okay, okay I suppose that I should not have killed the bird. Ellie's always having a go at me for eating them. Was moving house on Saturday I'm dreading it because we've got to go the funeral for the stupid bird. And we have to go the vets because the vet has got to get the bird out of my stomach.
Amy

Okay, okay so I did eat the little teensy weensy bird. After all it was only one bird. Anyway it fell into my bird trap in the middle of the roses. So what if I buried it and came back in a min and ate it. So even if mum had a good go at me. Yum I think I am going to enjoy this funeral. Now it is time for a snooze bye.
Holly

Okay, Okay well I suppose I did kill the old fat bird. My owners have a new cat and I don't like it. Ellie loves it but doesn't like me any more now. It's not fair. And I'm hungry I'd better go get my dinner before it starts to waste. Hang on! Where's my dinner? I bet that cat's eaten it. Well it's night time too. Going to bed now.bye.
Rosie Lovatt

Okay, okay. So hang me, who cares if I sneaked in to the next door neighbour's house and killed the mouse and pet bird .They're just pets. I can not believe that the next door neighbours threw me over the fence. After all a cat's got to do what a cat's to do! When Ellie saw me she threw me into the basement but I will get out. I will get out with my killer claws!
Thomas Greenhough

Okay okay I may have killed that stupid bird but I am a cat and a cat's gotta do what a cat's gotta do! My owner might not forgive me for this but I DONT CARE I'm a cat a killer cat. Its not like I'm a bumble bee making honey . This is going to be another flutter ball funeral.
Kylie

Okay ,okay so what! I killed a bird and a mouse. Hang me to death. You will never catch me. I am as fast a cheater no one can catch me. Come here little cat. I am not falling for that .Tuffy you have wrecked mum's garden, there's a black bird Tuffy. What I expected on my poor gulp gulp mmmmmmmmmm nice . Now that's a bird, a mouse, a black bird.
Aaron T

Okay, Okay I killed the bird. Why can't they just forget about it and get on with life? Ellie cried when I told her what had happened. Why should that bird be such a problem when it's not even here anymore? Stab me if you hate me. I'm of no importance to you! Or call the pound to shut me in a cage. What's the use? Killer cats are supposed to be strays anyway. I hope they soon get nicer.
Regan Wain

Okay, okay I killed that little brown fur ball. What do you want me to do? YES!!! another funeral. Well a cat's got to do what cat's got to do. So hang me! I came out and killed that bird. Then I was grabbed by the tail and was kicked in a room. What did I did I do this time? Get out of there.
Aaron B